Now, for starters my charity won't be giving out books, blankets or baked goods. In fact, there are those of you who may scoff at my "so called" charity, but as I always say...or more to the point...sometimes say...or if I'm honest, for the first time today, am finally saying...to each his own!
So the spark was lit for my charitable organization over Labor Day while spending a long weekend at my brother's home. Stumbling over Baby Einstein toys, my sister-in-law's golden retriever and a stack of recyclable magazines, I found my way to the sofa on an early Saturday before anyone was awake. With a mug of organic coffee in one hand (I know can you say Generation Y!) and the remote in the other, I hit....Power.
Nothing, other than a blue screen.
I hit Power and then On.
Power, On, Menu.
Power, On, Menu, On and then a few wacks on the sofa.
For the next hour I pushed every button on the television, the remote, as well as every other remote I could find, working myself into a frenzy having missed much of the Saturday Today Show.
My brother was the first to get up, probably because after an hour, I started texting him like only a sister can do "Get UPPPPPP!! Emergency! Emergency!!!"
"What's the emergency?", he said, like a guy who had heard his sister's cries for several decades and guessed my 911 was either I needed shampoo or wanted him to run to the nearest grocery to get me real coffee.
"Don't look at me like that. This one is for real. Your television won't turn on. I tried everything. I even went upstairs and tried the television in the playroom. You need to call the cable company asap.
"You got me up at 7:30, on a Saturday, for that. I sometimes forget how much I hate you. There is nothing wrong with the television, we gave up cable a month ago!"
"What? You gave up cable? Why, did you lose your job? Mom is going to kill you."
"No, I didn't lose my job! We decided television was taking up too much of our time. It was bad for us."
T.V, taking up too much time? T.V., bad? Immediately, I understood the code. WE had nothing to do with this. This had Erica written all over it.
The reason for the long haired golden retriever that keeps Brody sneezing and itching every time we visit.
The reason for the stacks of recyclable paper products, plastics and cans that cause my kids to second guess the Kane family mantra - We Don't Recycle.
The reason for my constant weekend headaches caused by drinking her organic, caffeine free coffee-like substance she passes off as the real thing.
"Are you serious? What is wrong with you? What about your kids?"
"Erica says television shows just make you brain dead and they shouldn't watch them. We read and play outside instead."
And just like that I heard my calling. Erica and all the other Ericas of the world were slowly destroying the simple joys of life we were raised on.
So for Christmas this year, my brother and his children will be the first recipients of my newly formed charity.
"I'm getting you cable for Christmas!" were the words I texted him the other day.
"Right, is that because it's your turn to come down here for the holidays?", he texted back.
Well, they do say charity starts at home...