By ANNE DONNELL

Please tell me where to insert commas (correctly, of course) in this sentence: Nancy my sister said “If you’re planning to go to Louisville Kentucky tomorrow you’d better go to sleep early tonight.” Thanks.

-Aspiring Author

By ANNE DONNELL

Please tell me where to insert commas (correctly, of course) in this sentence: Nancy my sister said “If you’re planning to go to Louisville Kentucky tomorrow you’d better go to sleep early tonight.” Thanks.

-Aspiring Author

Here’s the grading nightmare that shows up when you ask fanciful young minds where to insert commas in that sentence:  Nancy, my, sister, said, “If, you’re, planning, to, go, to…”  I developed “other grading strategies.” But, those great students of yore, even when their papers became easier to grade, still failed to place commas correctly. They blamed me. I blamed them.  Their parents and guardians, principals and guidance counselors, the governor (remember Career Ladder Lamar) and people of the great state of Tennessee blamed us all, but with the grading going better all this simply flew by.

Flew by is what happened to the last decade. 

Now that it’s 2010 I’m wondering will we say twenty ten or two thousand ten ? We couldn’t get our mouths around twenty oh one although the excited people breaking into the twentieth century had no trouble with nineteen oh one. They knew their nineteen was a quick way of saying nineteen hundred. Twenty hundred doesn’t roll out so well, although we do say ten hundred, often shortened to ten, as in ten sixty-six. And, some say the year one thousand sixty-six. Well, some people cuss and say ain’t. Hearing someone say something proves nothing, unless it’s I or any other of the cadre of English teachers, past and present, and we’re wrong ___% of the time. (I couldn’t bring myself to be definite.)

This entire millennium Charles Osgood has been saying twenty oh one, twenty oh two, etc. (Charles Osgood is a radio and TV commentator, AND narrator of the 2008 film Horton Hears A Who! )

You don’t have to decide today. And you can put off working on your tax return for a day or two, also, but if you need a babysitter for the Super Bowl, better get on that. 

I just saw an article smirking about “old stuff” from ten years ago that we don’t have to use now. Well, I’m concerned. Were they in our house photographing our “old stuff”? Around here it looks just like those pictures. (If it’s only ten years old, we’re still thinking it’s “new stuff.”) Are we supposed to toss it to the curb and go get some with-incomprehensible-instructions-but-genuinely-new “stuff”? That phone with the big network that does everything but your laundry? Huh! The one I have sends me messages about tattooed, pierced people who scream “songs.” Progress?

That flew by business? Older people, of whom I am one, stand (sit?) in amazement at the speed of time’s passing. ONLINE DEPARTMENT illuminates the older mindset. With any luck, you youngsters will turn old. “Observations on Growing Older” (Thanks, JA) • Your kids are becoming you - and you don't like them - but your grandchildren are perfect. • Going out is good. Coming home is better. • When people say you look great, they add "for your age." • You forget names, but it's OK because other people forget they even know you. • You realize you're never going to be really good at anything - especially golf. • How do cooks make everything in a meal ready at the same time? • Husbands sleep better in a recliner chair with the TV blaring than they do in bed. It's called “pre-sleep.” • Remember when your mother said, “Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident”? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!  • You miss the days when everything worked with just an ON and OFF switch, when GOOGLE, iPod, e-mail, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you buy a trap or get a cat. • You use more 4 letter words like “what?” and “when?” and “where” (the last one usually referring to food on your clothes) • If you acquire expensive jewelry, it’s hidden in your wrinkles, and it's not safe to wear it anywhere. And forget fur – someone will spray paint it. • Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he's home by 8:30 P.M . • You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it before. • What used to be freckles are now liver spots. • Everybody whispers. • Now that your spouse has retired, you'd give anything if he (or she) would find a job • But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies, and, best of all, old friends.

OK, here’s where I’d insert commas in the sentence sent in by our QP of T (Question Person of Today), and you’ll note there are two versions with accompanying explanation of condition: (1) [If you are speaking to Nancy] Nancy, my sister said, “ If you’re planning to go to Louisville, Kentucky, tomorrow, you’d  better go to sleep early tonight.”(2) [If Nancy is your sister] Nancy, my sister, said, “If you’re planning to go to Louisville, Kentucky, tomorrow, you’d better go to sleep early tonight.”  There’s no need for a semi-colon. 

Please note the comma after Kentucky. Elements of address like that are set off by commas, not only between the town and state, but also after the state, even when an abbreviation is used. The omission of the comma after the final element is a common mistake, often seen in newspapers, magazines, and in house publications. But it’s a mistake. Common occurrence hasn’t made this correct. 

The comma after tomorrow is debatable; it’s setting off a dependent clause and makes the sentence more easily read. If you regard the clause If you’re planning to go to Louisville, Kentucky, tomorrow as essential then omit the comma. 

BW (Bigtime Word) exanimate – lifeless, dispirited. Good word to use on answering machine message. “If I seem exanimate it’s because this is a recording.”