Today is Wednesday, January 28, 2015
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Lessons Learned...

A feeling of both melancholy and excitement prevails in the Kane household as letter after letter arrives for our oldest, from colleges near and far. As I watch her open each one, I distinctly remember being her age, knowing very little about life, yet believing I knew everything.

 

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Baby teeth

By BECKY ANDREWS
Wilson Living Magazine
He lay there in the exam chair, feet hanging off the end, a fluorescent light shining down, watching the Discovery Channel playing on the ceiling. We were at the dentist. It was an ordinary Monday for me, an extraordinary Monday for my oldest since he was getting to miss a half-day of school to get his teeth cleaned.

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Buying in Bulk

By BECKY ANDREWS
Somewhere in history, who knows when, it became clear that enough was not enough. It was probably somewhere between Cleopatra and Marc Antony’s demise at the Battle of Actium when they knew death was not far off that Cleo turned to Mark and said,

“Why didn’t you bring more than two spears? Now we are staring death in the face”
“Maybe if you would have packed more”
‘Maybe if you would have bought more”
“If you can tell me where I can buy more than two at a time, I’ll do it. Until then, shut up and fight!”

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Cliffs Note Parenting

By ANGEL KANE,
Wilson Living Magazine

I love when my brother and his family come for a visit. And this past weekend, they were in Lebanon to spend Easter with us. Soon after arriving, we all decided to head to the creek. As we were walking through the woods behind our house, my four year old nephew ran ahead. As he did, my brother yelled out…

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Meany

By BECKY ANDREWS, Wilson Living Magazine
Have we met? Perhaps you’ve heard of me. I’m the meanest mom in the world. At least that’s what my 11-year-old has been calling me lately. Amazing how this new nickname came so soon after Christmas.

I guess the first time I heard that little term of endearment from him was a year ago when I refused to even discuss getting him a cell phone.

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Bumper Talk

By BECKY ANDREWS
Wilson Living Magazine
Sitting in line waiting to pick up my kids from a birthday party at a bouncy place,  I looked around at all the bumpers and realized I was sitting in the company of greatness, and according to one in particular- terrificness. Because of all the decals and magnets it felt like being in pit lane at the Daytona 500.

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What did you do over Spring Break?

By ANGEL KANE,
Wilson Living Magazine
For the first time in many years, we decided to stay home during Spring Break. To which our children responded …

“We never get to go anywhere. Our life is horrible. Why do you hate us?”

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There ought to be a law . . .

By BECKY ANDREWS
Wilson Living Magazine
In order to own gun there is a legal protocol that must be followed. There’s a background check, the purchaser must be of legal age, and after a mandatory waiting period you will become the proud owner of a firearm.

Some gun owners opt to take safety classes, which is fabulous. It amazes me that with all a person has to go through in order to purchase a firearm, any idiot with enough cash or high enough credit limit can go into any big box retailer and buy their very own digital camera to go about town shooting whatever they choose… without warning.

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Small Town Yogi

By BECKY ANDREWS
Wilson Living Magazine
A few days ago I caught Angel in a weak moment, and before she knew it we -- along with our friend, Beth -- were on the interstate headed to Hot Yoga. What was the catalyst for a spur of the moment, mid-week trip to a facility that boasts a 110-degree room and instructors who encourage students to clear the mind of all distractions? Honestly, I forgot.

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And.Im out

By ANGEL KANE
Wilson Living Magazine
Having attended Catholic schools, I am well versed in all the requirements that surround Lent. Mind you, I am not Catholic but consider myself Catholic by association.

I recall the nuns at my school going around the class and asking each one of us what we were giving up for Lent. To be honest, being a non-catholic I felt somewhat persecuted that I had to give up anything. 

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The talk

By BECKY ANDREWS
Wilson Living Magazine
I’d been dreading this moment since the day he was born. (OK. That’s probably a little melodramatic.)

I didn’t even know this would be awkward. Before becoming a parent and right up until this day, I swore I was going to be a cool, open-minded, honest parent who answers ALL of my children’s questions.

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Emergency Contact

By ANGEL KANE, Wilson Living Magazine

No matter where you go these days or what you do, it seems somebody or other wants you to list your “emergency contacts.”

If you are like me, you don’t hesitate on the first one. I always list my husband because he is ultra dependable. But #2 is a problem.

In some ways, I believe your list of “emergency contacts” should be privileged information. Nobody needs to know if they are or are not on the list until duty calls.

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Mid Life Prices

By BECKY ANDREWS
I’ve hit mid life. While my older sister disagrees saying she’s not even mid life, I know it’s here. I can feel it in my bones, in my digestive track and I can see it in the crow’s feet once thought to be laugh lines.

I seem to be traveling fairly rapidly up the metaphorical hill so that one day I can dig my heels in to prevent from sliding down. It appears that not only is my age increasing in years and months but the cost to keep those years and months too noticeable increasing as well.

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Family Secrets

By ANGEL KANE
Wilson Living Magazine

As we were rushing to get ready for school Wednesday morning, the words I heard stopped me in my tracks. From the kitchen, I could hear my middle child revealing a closely guarded family secret. One I had demanded never to be exposed!

“Oh yeah - well I don’t care what you call me,” she said, “because you wear girl shirts to school!” (And she wasn’t talking to her sister.)

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The Short List

By ANGEL KANE, Wilson Living Magazine

My favorite, favorite thing to do is to get up before everyone else, make myself a cup of coffee and savor it for a good 10 minutes. And when that doesn’t happen….

So on Saturday morning, as I was making my way down the hall to my coffee maker, out of the shadows emerged a figure.

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Family 101

By BECKY ANDREWS
A few years ago my husband and I along with our children, moved back to Lebanon. Upon returning, I renewed friendships with a few people I grew up with. When we were young, I envied their family life.

They seemed to have everything. Their parents had ‘regular jobs’. They had one, maybe two siblings, a beautifully decorated home, a mom who was always put together with perfectly coordinated clothing in the latest styles and a dad that played golf and coached little league. They even had grandparents who attended ball games, birthday parties, and never missed an opportunity to spoil their grandchildren with extravagant gifts.

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Cleanliness is next to . . .

By ANGEL KANE

They say, cleanliness is next to godliness.  I say, THEY are right.

So, when my children told me about a television show called “Hoarders”, I was both horrified and mesmerized. And when they told me about a show called “Animal Hoarders”, with that I was hooked!

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Boys to men

By BECKY ANDREWS, Wilson Living Magazine
I am the mother of boys; two of them. When they were babies, I worried, A LOT. I knew everything about these little creatures. Their likes and dislikes, their bedtime and naptime. I knew the difference between a hungry cry and sick cry.

I knew what made them giggle uncontrollably and what story they liked before bed. Never before had the frequency and consistency of bowel movements been so important. I was a pro. Then they started growing up. And just when we’d tackle one obstacle, like potty training, a new one would present itself.

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Circle of trust

By Angel Kane, Wilson Living Magazine

In our little household, we have something called the "circle of trust." A phrase we picked up from the movie, Meet the Fockers, years ago. So it seems apropos with the third installment of Meet the Fockers coming out this week, that our circle might be put to the test.

The "circle of trust" consists of my husband, myself and our three children. And those in the circle know there are things mommy says "in" the home, that we don’t repeat "outside" of the home.

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Happy Birthday, Angel!

By BECKY ANDREWS

A few days ago Angel turned the big 4-0. Yep, four whole decades. This is a big deal and there’s no way I could forget about this monumental day. Mainly because she’d been reminding me of it once a week since she turned 38.

So to celebrate, I planned a day out with a few of our close friends. We were going to lunch at a great little restaurant that serves the most delicious fried bread, shopping and I was taking Angel to get her eyebrows shaped — my treat. I had mine shaped a few weeks earlier and Angel wanted to try it so this was the perfect time.

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Tis the cold season

By ANGEL KANE

It’s inevitable that as cold and flu season makes its way through town, my kids will catch the sniffles. So when my mother heard my youngest cough and wheeze over the Thanksgiving holidays, it was also inevitable that she would break out the Vicks.

My mother is a firm believer that any ailment can be cured with a thick layer of Vicks!
 
And because - we all become our mothers - I am now an expert in slathering on this gooey, gummy, menthol mess. Screaming and struggling to get away from me in the hopes of avoiding a rubdown, will do you no good - as I truly believe that one day scientist will affirm that Vicks cures everything from colds to cancer.

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You can't choose your family, but

You can talk smack about them
By BECKY ANDREWS
Around this time of year when extended family members prepare to convene on our households, Angel and I participate in a spirited game of, ‘I can out do you’ or it’s more commonly referred to name,

‘Who has the nuttiest little family’. The conversation usually revolves around whose parent, grandparent, or other relative had the most success at humiliating us or making puberty more awkward than it already was. Because we both come from fairly outspoken people, the contest is always close.

This is usually how the conversations go:

Angel: “I had to sleep on a camp bed for a year in Greece!”

Me: “I was a Jehovah’s Witness until 6th grade.”
Score- Becky- 1, Angel-0

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Pigmies & Pulleys

By ANGEL KANE
As I lay across the kitchen floor Sunday night, surrounded by bubble wrap, duck tape, a pulley and wig, my husband walked in,

“Well, this looks like another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into.”

And honestly, if at that moment my fingers had not been super-glued together, I would have exhibited some rather rude behavior. Instead (due to circumstances beyond my control), I took the high road.

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Dont bet against the big guy

By ANGEL KANE
On Sunday as I hopped in the car, I noticed that my husband had packed his laptop as well.

“Why are you bringing the laptop to church?” I asked

“I have to make a trade before noon and can’t find my phone.”

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Tower of terror

By ANGEL KANE

I’m a risk taker. That’s right. You know it.  After years of reading about my fear of flying, fear of germs, fear of public displays of affection, fear of Becky getting me into another “fine mess”, I know that you might have  pegged me differently.

But I’m here to tell you that for one brief moment last week, I was that bold and courageous girl, I always knew I could be!

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