|Ask Anne: Resolutions for tongue and pen|
|Wednesday, December 28, 2011|
Dear Anne, How about some “New Year’s Resolutions for People Who Talk Redneck”? I’ll bet you can get going on that! You’ll probably offend a lot of people, but you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs! Happy New Year!
-Like That “Good” Language, Too
Hey, those of you who could be offended, how about if the shoe fits, wear it? But, I’m not going into rednecks. When that’s employed as a pejorative term, the user needs to ask himself or herself why being a hard worker, who while bending his head laboring in the fields burned his neck crimson, is a bad thing. Of course we do have that bunch of lazies who stick on a cap and try to pass themselves off as part of the tradition when the hardest lick they put in involves getting the tobacco out of their pockets.
Now I suppose I’ve offended the QP of T (Question Person of Today) who was being lighthearted. So I’ll list a few things that need to be observed for leaving a better impression and for communicating more effectively. Just sayin’.
(1) Sort out your verbs. Use the standard forms correctly; don’t scramble the principal parts. It’s I come, I came, I have come. I see, I saw, I have seen. I go, I went, I have gone. I look, I looked, I have looked. (That last one is regular; the others you have to learn and apply.)
If the subject of a sentence is plural, use a plural verb. If the subject is singular, use a singular verb. He looks, you and he look.
Get your auxiliaries (“helping verbs”) correct. Done is not one. (Do can be used for emphasis.)
Ain’t won’t do.
(2) Check your pronunciation in a dictionary or with an expert. If you’re unsure of a word, don’t say it until you are sure.
(3) Similarly, check your spelling. If there’s no dictionary available (perhaps you are filling out a job application on site) avoid words you are unsure about the correct spelling. Use words you know. And, don’t misspell the expression a lot. It’s two (2) words! Built in computer spelling programs can’t be trusted to sort out two from too from to.
(4) Use formal language at appropriate times; informal, likewise. You embarrass yourself and others when you mix this up. Slangy, casual expression is often seen as impolite. OMG, oh my God is seen as highly offensive by many, and since it is, for many others, merely a casual exclamation of a usually mild reaction, you should replace it.
There’s always more, but we’ve got a whole year ahead of us. Happy New Year! And here’s something to consider while you welcome the new. This website will tell you how many days OLD you are. (Thanks, M. W.) http://www.korn19.ch/coding/days.php
ONLINE DEPARTMENT (Thanks, M.O.) I dialed a number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” • Aspire to inspire before you expire. • My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. • Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. • Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. • The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere. • God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. • I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. • Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
“Comments made in the year 1955!” (Thanks, A.G.L.) Sorry we can’t have all the great pictures – Elvis, Joan Crawford, etc. •I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00. • Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one. • If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit; 20 cents a pack is ridiculous. • Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter? • If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store. • When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage. • I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying a cuss word in “Gone with the Wind” it seems every new movie has cussing. • I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas. Do you believe that? • Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the President. • I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now. • It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work. • I’m afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business • The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on. • There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel. • No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it’s too rich for my blood. • If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.