|Wednesday, February 16, 2011|
By BECKY ANDREWS
Have you ever looked at your someone special and thought, “I think this was a mistake. Can we just be friends? Or on second thought, I don’t want to be your friend because frankly, you drive me crazy.
What is it with the hair in the bathroom sink? And when is the last time you paid me a compliment anyway? Do you know how lucky you are?!”
I’ve silently thought those words. Admittedly it’s after a long day of work or a day when I’m simply in a foul mood.
I didn’t realize that there are times when my husband has thought the same things about his bride. Imagine! Although his complaints are a bit unreasonable and untrue. And his go something like this:
“I think this was a mistake. Can we just be friends? Scratch that. Because according to you, friends talk about feelings ALL THE TIME.
And frankly I’m exhausted with all the talking. If I hear you tell me one more time that me leaving dirty dishes in the sink really means I don’t care about our relationship I’m going to lock myself in the gun safe. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be married to you?
And stop asking who I would marry if you suddenly died! That’s so weird and a little offensive when you tell me you’d prefer if this ‘next wife’ resembled a Ms. Belvedere type. I’m sure I’d be quite a catch carrying around your ashes with me everywhere I go per your last will and testament instructions.”
These days we look at our marriage and feel grateful that we can laugh at the things that were a deal breaker before. I mean seriously leaving hair in the bathroom sink is gross but not worth ending a marriage. Yes, we have faced much bigger problems. Problems that could have ended our marriage.
But our history is just too rich to walk away from. We’ve survived a lot. The terminal illness and death of his dad and my mother, medical issues with our youngest, mortgages, homes and businesses. As cliché as it sounds, it’s the tough times that have made our marriage stronger. Although, we don’t kid each other and say it’s going to be smooth sailing from now on. Who knows about tomorrow, but we are good today and that’s all that matters.
What I love most about my husband, our marriage, our history, our friendship is what a blessing it is to love a person who is perfectly imperfect and know that he appreciates my imperfections just as much as my strengths. At least that’s how I feel today. Yes, today we are goodJ